Well, the first games of the 2010 college football season are less than two weeks away and many programs are entering the fray with less of a bang and more like...say...dipping a toe into hot bath water. Playing laughably inferior competition is a time-honored tradition for the major powers of football, especially here in the South.
I'm of the opinion that playing one of these "cupcakes" a year is OK, given that every SEC and ACC team must navigate a difficult schedule simply by virtue of its conference affiliation. Week One provides us some hilarious match-ups involving those two conferences:
Florida A&M at Miami (FL) -
There's gonna be an awful lot of guys wearing green and orange on the field for this titanic clash. Probably more than in the stands at Sun Life Stadium.
Presbyterian at Wake Forest -
The Demon Deacons take on the Blue Hose. It looks more like a bar trivia challenge than a football game.
Samford at Florida State -
The 'Noles pick up where they left off; playing another former employer of Bobby Bowden's. Jimbo Fisher reminds everyone that he's the FSU head coach now, actually.
Miami (OH) at Florida -
It's a good thing Miami's jerseys have a lot of red on them already; this is gonna be a bloodletting. No truth to the rumor that former RedHawk Ben Roethlisberger will be hitting up G-ville that Friday night.
Louisiana-Lafayette at Georgia -
Historically, the Dawgs are the foremost experts on "playing down" to their competition. Somewhere, Larry Munson is bemoaning the arm strength of the Cajuns' QB, ol'-what's-his-name.
South Carolina State at Georgia Tech -
The Ramblin' Wreck will at least be able to say they beat ONE group of Bulldogs this year. Ha ha. Been sittin' on that one for a while.
Weber State at Boston College -
I got nothin'. Really. Nothin' at all.
North Texas at Clemson -
The Todd Dodge farewell tour begins in Death Valley. The Tigers get a pass here; they play Presbyterian, too, but only before consecutive games against Auburn, Miami (FL), and UNC. There's no question that if Clemson is 5-0 after that, they are a Top 10 team.
Jacksonville State at Ole Miss -
Jax State is the only other school in the country besides South Carolina with the nickname Gamecocks. It took you longer to read that than it will for this game to be decided.
Tennessee-Martin at Tennessee -
Here's what I like about this game: when a big-time college football team (yes, that still applies to Tennessee) plays a I-AA team, I like that it's an in-state school. That big paycheck really helps the little guys out. I know; I'm a big softie.
Arkansas State at Auburn - Fun fact: In 2009, ASU only lost to eventual Orange Bowl champion Iowa by three points. Cam "Laptop Bandido" Newton makes his debut on the Plains here, too.
Tennessee Tech at Arkansas -
I saw Tennessee Tech play last year in Sanford Stadium. I really think that was the worst football team I've EVER seen play. I'm not kidding. I don't think they even tried to win. Ryan Mallett will try to be the first QB ever to throw for 1,000 yards in a game.
San Jose State at Alabama -
Cross-country flights are a bitch. Asking the Spartans to do it just to be embarrassed by the defending national champions is just plain wrong.
Memphis at Mississippi State -
This would be must-see TV if this were basketball season. But it's not.
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In fairness, It ain't gonna be ALL warm butter-cream and fluffy pastry for the SEC and ACC in Week One. There are some HUGE games on the schedule involving Southern teams. Boise State vs. Virginia Tech is an obvious one, being a de facto national title elimination for both squads. LSU vs. UNC is another; two contenders for their respective conference crowns battle in the Georgia Dome in primetime.
Louisville/Kentucky has provided some fantastic finishes in recent years. The Cards are attempting a comeback of NKOTB-proportions, and they would love to ruin Joker Phillips' first game as coach of the Wildcats.
Navy/Maryland is a great regional rivalry, and Ralph Friedgen NEEDS to win in the worst way.
If you go to the Northwestern/Vanderbilt game, don't be surprised if a quiz bowl breaks out.
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Here are some other sneaky games from the first week of college football that you should really pay attention to:
Western Carolina at N.C. State -
OK, this very well could be the Wolfpack's ONLY win in 2010. I'm serious. They play against the best the ACC has to offer, with only the Virginia Tech game coming at home. Unfortunately, the Tom O'Brien experiment has not worked in Raleigh.
Elon at Duke -
Another match-up where the result may surprise you. Elon went 9-3 last year and Duke isn't good enough to simply brush the Phoenix aside. The Devils should win, but will find themselves trailing. Late.
Richmond at Virginia -
The term "upset alert" was coined for games like this. If the Spiders (11-2 in 2009) DON'T win, I'll be shocked. But seriously, if you pit a quality I-AA (that's right, I said it) team against its former coach in his first game with a talentless squad, and it's got all the makings of an embarrassing opening loss.
Southern Miss at South Carolina -
The ultimate "look-ahead" game. Don't be fooled: Carolina is prepping for the epic bout against Georgia in Week Two RIGHT NOW. The Golden Eagles are more than capable of scaring the Bojangle's out of the Cocks should they be unfocused.
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Let's see...did I miss anyone? No? Then let the feasting begin!